The Incredible Vote-o-Matic

Exercise your right to vote — without all the exercise!

Here's how it works:

When registered voter (A) views last-minute campaign ads (B), emotional responses are gathered via electrode cap (C). Microcomputer (D) translates results into motor-impulse signals, which are sent via transmitter (E) to brain of trained gibbon (F).

Voila! You've been spared the discomfort often associated with making decisions.